You Are Mine
by Clarice Sansnom
Summary: Asami leaves on a business trip, or so he planned. After a few days Akihito finds him in hospital. What happened? Who did this to him? Is Asami going to be alright? How will Akihito take it? Warnings: violence, smex, language, death of major character.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

Timeline: Two years after Hong Kong.

Warnings: violence, smex, language, death of major character.

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Please review, I would love your opinions! Thanks!

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Akihito panted heavily as he dropped forward onto Asami´s chest, taking in the scent of his lover´s sweat with a deep breath. He finally let go of the big hand he had pressed for minutes now which gratefully cupped his cheek now, only to pull Akihito´s head towards the lips and tongue of its owner.

With a deep kiss both men calmed down their breathing when Akihito jerked away in distress as he felt Asami pull out. "No!", he gasped and quickly reached for his bottom to hold off the fluids that would start dribbling out any moment. Before he could get off his lover and to the bathroom the older man grabbed both his arms and pulled them away and the boy a bit further up his body. As his golden eyes stared into his soul Akihito clenched his fists and tried to look away in shame. He could already feel the liquids drip down his thighs and onto his lover´s belly when he noticed how hot his face felt.

"Look at me", Asami commanded.

Akihito found the golden eyes again, clenching every muscle he had trying to prevent the unpreventable, giving Asami a furious gaze in the process. He only received a lustful smirk in exchange and was pulled into a kiss again. Resigning he let go.

"That´s right, let it all come out on me", Asami whispered into his ear. „You belong to me, remember? And by you I mean every single thing that is in your body."

"Jerk", Akihito answered quietly, too exhausted to fight back anymore. With his last bits of strength, he pulled his body aside and laid his head onto Asami´s chest to hear his heartbeat. Surrounded by the scents and sounds of his Crime Lord he drifted away in seconds, only still awake enough to feel the strong, hot arms pull the cover over the two of them.

Bright daylight filled his vision when Akihito saw a blurry figure pass him in the morning. Still half asleep but in reflex he grabbed Asami´s pants leg to make his lover stop.

"Already?", he asked.

„It´s seven thirty, sorry, Kitten. I´ll be back in a week. And you, be good, understood?"

"Yes." Akihito quickly swallowed the `save trip´ he would have said after that in his morningly delirium. Agreeing to be good like a dog was already too much submission for one day.

One last deep kiss and he watched his lover shut the bedroom door behind him. With a sleepy sigh he curled up in Asami´s pillow.

* * *

It had been three days without word from Asami or Kirishima and Akihito slowly grew tired of being followed around by Suoh all day. Turning left at the corner of a tall office building he stopped and waited for the bodyguard who had been walking twenty meters behind him for about two hours by now. When the man turned at the corner and stood right before Akihito, he held up his arm in front of Suoh´s nose.

"I do have the tracker on my wrist, just as Asami ordered, so why don´t you turn around and go back home because I am about to start working and I can´t have a tail when I´m hiding or anything!" By the time he got to end of the sentence Akihito was already yelling at the surprised bodyguard.

In this very moment Suoh´s phone gave away a quiet beep. Suoh answered and Akihito turned around relieved to start walking away, with a happy smile on his face for finally being rid of his tail, when Suoh grabbed his arm with a concerned look in his eyes. He hung up and simply said: "Takaba-san, I will need you to come with me quickly."

"What is it? What´s wrong?"

"Let´s talk in the car."

The two men returned to the car quickly that was parked two streets down, and Suoh drove fast. Akihito finally, after two minutes of driving and asking, got an answer: "That was the hospital on the phone, they have Asami-sama and have tried all other numbers on the emergency contact list."

Akihito did not understand. He was silent for a moment, then asked again: "What does that mean?"

"Asami-sama is in the hospital, that´s all I know right now. I am getting us there as fast as I can."

That was all the answer he got before Suoh started to dial his phone again, hanging up and dialing again a few times.

In his worst nightmares, Akihito had dreamt about Asami being shot, though these dreams had been gone by a few months now. After all, the Hong Kong incident was two years past by now. The few minutes to take them to the hospital felt like hours. In his thoughts Akihito was seeing images of Asami, bloodied and dying in his arms, pained golden eyes to haunt him and his lover´s deep voice muttering absurd things.

By the time he got out of the car, he felt so dizzy and sick that he threw up on the pavement as soon as he had stepped out with both his feet. Suoh held his shoulder as soon as he had gotten around the car, offering Akihito a bottle of water after he managed to stand up straight again. Wordlessly he took a few sips and started walking towards the entrance, closely followed by his bodyguard.

When they got to the station, a nurse held up the two men. Akihito asked for Asami´s room number and only got the answer to wait for the doctor to arrive. He was about to protest when a small, middle aged man in a white coat came around the corner to ask for Asami Ryuuichi-san´s family.

"Asami-san has suffered some quite serious injuries, he has some bone fractures, severe burns all over his body, cuts and bruises, he is now stable but only barely. We are now trying to fight his dehydration, starvation and some infections along the wounds. To make it bearable for his body we had to set him into an induced coma, in which we will keep him for the next few days, until the healing process is a bit farther along. If he survives that - which we will be monitoring very closely - he has a good chance of a full physical recovery. Have you understood that so far?"

"Yes", Akihito said quietly. He almost whispered. All his energy had left his body with only this little word.

"If you would like to see him, I will pick you up here in thirty minutes, my team and I are still working on a few wounds."

Akihito only managed to nod. There was no more voice within him left. As the doctor turned around, the young man felt his knees wobble away. A firm grip held him in his position as it tugged under his right arm for support. The fragile body only achieved a few steps to the side onto a chair in the corridor where Akihito felt tears coming up into his eyes in angry disbelieve as soon as his thighs touched the seat. Trembling he asked Suoh: "These wounds sound like torture, don´t they?" "Yes, Takaba-san." "Who did this?!", Akihito screamed in pain, grabbing Souh´s collar, only to let go a moment after realizing. Suoh didn´t make a move, he had expected Takaba to be very upset. Akihito dropped back into his seat, shaking from head to toe in anger but also a bit in fear. "If you don´t need me to your support here, I will try to find out immediately, Takaba-san." "Go."

For a few moments Akihito only sat there, staring at his clenched fists. If Asami should die now the last thing he would have called him was a jerk. Tears of fear flushed his body and he buried his face into his hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

* * *

As he entered the brightly lid room that lay in silence for the exception of beeping from heavy machinery hooked up to the mess of a body, Akihito´s chest was stinging with anxiety. The first few moments he couldn´t even breathe when his body came to realize it and switched back on the boy´s reflexes.

Asami looked dead already though Akihito could hear the beeping of his heart. He sat down beside the bed, taking his big hands into his own trembling ones. The hand was frighteningly cold, showing a dark ring around the wrist that was scratched open a bit to see blood stains. Akihito couldn´t believe his lover was still alive, so in fear he got up and laid his head on Asami´s chest to hear his heart for himself. There it was. Even through the thick bandages Akihito could still hear the heartbeat. This belonged to him, he thought. Asami had given him his heart long ago even when he had always been unable to speak it out. No one took what was his, Akihito thought, shortly afterwards realizing that the voice in his head sounded an awful lot like his lover.

He sat back down again and whispered, staring at the hand that lay strengthless in his both: "I love you. Don´t you dare to die, bastard, because I love you too much to ever be able to let you go. You belong to me and I love you so don´t you dare."

* * *

After hours of only watching his lover breathe, holding his hand, saying I love you over and over, Akihito felt anger heat up in his gut. He needed to know who did exactly what to his everything to put him into this vegetable state. Since he couldn´t do anything about the who in this very moment, he decided to find out more about his injuries.

After a few very nice words to the nurse that had held them up Akihito entered Asami´s room again with the folder that contained his file. He sat down on the sofa next to the bed and started reading. His heart ached and his jaw became stiffer every second as he went through a list of endless injuries Asami had suffered through, when he read it at the bottom of the page. Rape. He stared at the word for a moment, lifting his eyes to his lover. Someone had laid their hands on his lover. How dare they. HOW DARE THEY! Furious, Akihito screamed out his lungs, slamming the file against the wall. Then he only stood there, trying to catch his breath but couldn´t. The doctor rushed in to see what was going down, only to be pushed aside as Akihito rushed out of the room and down the corridor, dialing his phone.

"Nothing yet, I am very sorry, Takaba-san. It also seems Kirishima is still missing."

"Find him! Find them! And leave them alive for me!", Akihito yelled into the phone before hanging up.

He punched against the next column in his way when he was shaken up by the stinging pain running up his arm from his trembling fist. Catching the arm with his other hand he fell to his knees, bursting out in tears again. It didn´t matter the slightest bit that he had just successfully scared away all hospital staff, visitors and other patients. Asami´s doctor laid his hand on his shoulder and knelt down across him, watching the boy with concerned eyes.

"Now, let´s get you fixed up. Asami-san will need you the next few days", he said in a calm voice.

Akihito suddenly felt the doctor had just completely scrutinized his soul. This man suddenly seemed to know him inside out. For a moment Akihito was scared but when the doctor started to smile he couldn´t help the feeling of trust playing into it. He was helped up and led back into Asami´s room where the doctor sat him down and started bandaging his sprained wrist.

"He is your lover, isn´t he?", the doctor asked calmly.

Akihito couldn´t answer. Even if he would have been able to speak in this moment he couldn´t have allowed anyone to know about them. So he just kept on staring at his wrist.

"You don´t have to answer. I am sorry if I was impolite. It really is none of my business." Then he paused for only a glimpse of the moment. "Just... keep up. You need to care for yourself now because you are no help to Asami-san if you are injured or hurt. I know this can be hard, I see these things every day in here, but if you don´t take care you cannot be strong for him and he needs you now. So I am going to need you to be strong for him, do you understand?"

Akihito nodded. The message had struck him right in his heart and he felt his chest tightening again. He needed to pull himself together. He needed to stand up for the man he loved.

"I will have a pillow and blanket brought in here for you, it might be good for you to rest for the night."

The doctor obviously knew Akihito would never leave to sleep at home.


	2. Chapter 2

Akihito lay awake when Souh called around three in the morning. He hadn´t closed an eye all night, anxious to hear Asami breath. From time to time a nurse would enter to check on his lover and reassure him to go to sleep.

"We found Kirishima. It seems he is with the men responsible at a warehouse at the docks. He said he wanted to hunt them down before making contact to us again."

"Good. Tell him to keep them alive till I arrive and get me a car to the hospital."

"Are you sure? Takaba-san, this is not something you would want to get involved with."

"I already am involved", the young man answered darkly.

Akihito hung up and kissed his lover goodbye on his sweaty forehead. „Don´t even think about going while I am gone. I will be back in a few hours, I promise", he told his sleeping lover with a calm voice. He had swallowed down his fear and all other feelings in the evening after realizing he couldn´t go on like that.

* * *

He stepped out into the cold air at the docks rushing towards Kirishima, slapping him across his face with his intact hand. The man did not move an inch, though in a fragment of a second his face moved and Akihito noticed the surprise in his eyes.

"That was for not contacting us", he said.

Then Akihito looked at the man closer. Kirishima was blood stained, though he couldn´t make out whose blood it might have been. From all he could tell, Kirishima looked physically fine, only he was sweating heavily, which was very unusual for him.

"How is Asami-sama?", Kirishima asked.

"Breathing, for now. He is in a coma, they are working on getting him through. What happened, Kirishima-san?", Akihito finally got to ask. He was calm, only wanting to know the truth.

"We got trapped on the way to the airport. I am so very sorry I failed to protect him." Kirishima´s voice choked. It seemed the man was almost afraid as he said the words.

"What did they do to him? Who are they?"

"I have captured the three men responsible inside. It seems their principal is a Chinese lowlife somehow associated with Liu. He and his two agents are ready for you if you wish."

"How did you get out of there? Who saved Asami?"

"At some point I managed to get out of my handcuffs and make my way to Asami but it was already too late to prevent the torture."

"So you saved him?", Akihito asked but there was no answer. Kirishima only looked guilty into his eyes. "Thank you", the boy said, making sure it sounded the right way: like right from the bottom of his heart.

As he entered the warehouse three figures hung from a bar in the middle of the dimly lid but huge room. They were all drenched in blood, one of them already passed of, one shaking, the other deeply panting. Akihito hated the smell but it suited them perfectly.

He took a thin knife from the table in front of them, as he approached them and said confidently: „Good morning, gentlemen, how nice of you to join us for your death ceremonies today."

The unconscious man blinked as Akihito came closer. The smell of blood made him feel sick instantly but like with all his other feelings in the last few hours he swallowed it down again. He grabbed the middle man by his blood clinging hair and made him look him in the eye. Then he asked silently: "Now, who raped Asami? Whoever tells me first, gets to keep his life."

To his own surprise, the trick worked and the man looked to his left side with pure panic and a glimpse of hope. Akihito wondered what Kirishima had done to the men before he had arrived at the site. "Bastard!", the rapist shrieked out as he tried his best to move away from Akihito as he slowly walked up to him. As Akihito raised his hand to caress his cheek he could feel the scumbag shiver deeply. That was exactly what he wanted. He came closer to his body and reached carefully down his pants to grab his penis firmly.

"I hope you end up fucked hard every moment of your eternal life in hell", Akihito whispered into his ear. He now burnt in anger. The man squeaked as Akihito led the knife downwards over the torso in his bandaged hand. A painful outcry ripped through the thick air in the warehouse when Akihito quickly cut off the penis and dropped it on the floor before the man. He turned around and had Kirishima follow him to the door, dropping the knife at some point and saying: "Kill them. Slowly."

The traitor screamed after Akihito for his life and to Kirishima´s surprise (but Takaba had surprised him strongly over these last few minutes) Akihito stopped and turned to look at the man from the distance. Akihito turned his head to Kirishima beside him and said, loud enough for the bastard to hear: "Pump him with drugs and sell him as a pet to some Russian or something."

With a rush of adrenalin in his ears, Akihito stepped out into the first morning light. As soon as the big gate had closed behind his back, with Kirishima still inside, Akihito´s knees gave in and he fell onto his wrists with one of them sending a painful shiver down his spine. Only now Akihito realized how wet his body felt and cold from the sweat he had produced inside. The feeling of sickness crawling up his stomach again, he jerked forward to vomit on the planks of the pier. There was nothing left in his stomach to empty anymore after a few moments but the nausea would not stop, causing only acid to come up anymore. Akihito shook, with cold goosebumps all over his body. He was in so much pain he couldn´t even see clearly.

A warm hand tapped on his shoulder and for a moment he thought Asami had come back to life but his brain still worked and made him look up to check who it really was. Suoh was looking down on him with pride and concern in his eyes and he wordlessly picked up Akihito and carried the exhausted young man to the car. "You did great in there", he said.

For only a moment Akihito closed his eyes and fell asleep.

He was woken by the car pulling over and Suoh still carried him. He felt so weak and cold he just let the man do it, only to be dropped to stand on his own feet again when they reached the apartment. That was the moment Akihito realized he had been brought home instead of to the hospital.

"Why are we here? I need to get back to Asami", he protested.

"You look beat. You need a shower and a meal."

Well, he really was smelling funny and surely not looking good. He had the urge of washing off that dirty blood that clung to his hands.

He staggered down the narrow hallway into the bathroom when he realized just how devastated he looked when coming across his own reflection in the big mirror. He looked deep into his own eyes, then gazing at the blood on his hands. He had really just cut off a man´s penis. As funny as it was he felt no regret. The bastard had raped his lover, had broken his pride, the one thing that Asami never gave away, he had earned his treatment and now that Akihito came to think of it he had been way too soft on the asshole. He should have fucked him right where he stood. Hopefully Kirishima would do horrible things to him.

Akihito felt dirty, inside out. He cut open the now blood drenched bandage over his wrist with a pair of scissors from the cupboard and went under the shower. The hot water seemed to wash away a lot of his fears, anger and nausea. It felt a bit like being in his tall lover´s arms and he remembered just how often he had actually been with him in this very shower. Akihito would have cried if he could but it seemed as if he was out of tears for now. He only stared at the dark spots on his sprained wrist. When Suoh knocked to see if he was alright, Akihito finally got out of the shower. Still feeling tired but at least a bit refreshed he went over to the closet to get dressed.

* * *

Asami was still breathing. Akihito kissed the still too cold body on the cheek and then had the doctor bandage his wrist again. Keeping it fixed really did help the pain - although he had hardly felt it with everything going on. With a relaxing sigh he dropped on the sofa. Now that he knew the men who did this had received a harsh punishment, his anger had cleared up more or less. Only concern was still deep down in his gut, making him watch his lover for a long time in the bright sunlight that fell onto his bed through the window. Hopefully it would warm up his body a little, though the coolness must have been a result of the blood loss Asami had suffered.

Without realizing Akihito had given in to the tiredness that had been sitting in his bones for hours and slipped away into an uneasy sleep, speckled with nightmares of his lover´s death. With cold sweat he awakened into the dark room. It must have become night again. He had slept the entire afternoon. Disoriented he sat up on the hard sofa and rubbed his eyes. Sleepy, he went over to Asami´s bed to hold his hand just for a bit. It seemed pathetic to hold on to him so tightly, after all his lover was in a coma, he wouldn´t have known if the boy was there or not. Akihito pulled the hand a few inches up to press a kiss onto the uneven surface of Asami´s skin. He started whispering to his unconscious lover again.

"I love you, Asami. I love you so much that I couldn´t live without you. I hope you realize that. So you have to come back, do you hear me? You have to come back to me. I love you too much to ever let you go. And if you die, I promise you, I will follow you. I´ll follow you deep into the Abyss, just like you need me to. You need me to be with you, I know that now. And I will follow you wherever you go. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."

Silent tears dripped onto the big hand. He couldn´t take it anymore. He wanted away. Out of this nightmare. Back to what they had. In this sitting posture, Akihito leaned forward, lay his head onto the bed and slipped back into delirious sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Akihito was woken by a firm hand on his arm. In panic he jerked up gripping the hand forcefully.

"It´s me, Takaba-san", Suoh quickly responded. Akihito let got and shook his head nervously. He had dreamt. He had only dreamt.

"Are you alright?", Suoh asked.

"Yeah yeah, just a bad dream, don´t worry."

"Kirishima-san is being treated here now as well. He wanted to finish up before going to the hospital."

"Is the... thing... done? How is he?"

"Yes, Takaba-san. Kirishima is now two levels down and starting to feel better already. But there is something else."

He paused. Akihito inhaled but never exhaled again. A shiver ran down his spine.

„Liu was seen in Tokyo. We are doubling our men around the area and in here."

After a first moment of fear that overcame Akihito he felt the anger run through his veins again. Fei Long was responsible. How could he have done something so cruel to Asami? After all, there had been moments when Akihito had actually liked the guy. But not now, not like this.

Suoh left the room, checking on the two guards outside.

* * *

Hours went by and Asami didn´t make a move other than breathing. The numbers on the monitors beside him got better and better and Akihito finally started to hope. He once even caught himself praying. Suoh brought food for him, just to not loose him too to starvation, though Akihito felt no hunger whatsoever. He ate. He felt obligated. Asami needed him fit and healthy and supportive.

In the afternoon the two guards outside the door left. Akihito didn´t think much about it, he was too enrolled in the conversation with the doctor. He had decided to wake Asami this evening to see how his state of mind was doing. The injuries were still severe but now bearable for a living body.

Akihito left for the toilet, deep in thoughts about how it would be when Asami came back. He had been through an incredible amount of pain and Akihito was not exactly sure how Asami reacted to things like that. When he came back around the corner an unknown figure was visible through the glass in the door to Asami´s room. It took Akihito a moment recognize Fei Long with short hair, in a black suit.

Within seconds Akihito´s body was shaking in fear and rage and all sorts of other emotions. He felt his right hand tremble, just like it used to get stuck on the stupid tremor after the Hong Kong incident. After he had stood there for a few moments in the empty corridor to make sure Fei Long wouldn´t hurt his lover, he turned around quietly and went looking for weapons. In the staircase he ran into Kirishima who was heavily breathing but on his way upstairs. He was carrying a gun and when demanded handed it over to Akihito who went straight back upstairs without waiting for Kirishima who took just a few seconds longer.

With the gun pointed at Fei Long he threw open the door only to find the doctor at the machines, looking at the boy scared as hell.

"Akihito, it wasn´t me, I swear. Now, put down that gun, you are shaking", Fei Long said with a calm and almost understanding voice.

Akihito tried to organize his thoughts for a moment. Even if Fei Long had just said the truth - which he strongly doubted - there was still so much open between them.

"Lies!", Akihito screamed. "You put us through so much, you bastard, you don´t even realize, how much!"

"Us? Oh, so you are an us now?", Fei Long smirked.

The doctor was already hiding behind Asami´s bed in fear Akihito would shoot him. Akihito´s hand shook with pain but he still tried to point the gun at Fei Long´s head. They were in a hospital. If he wanted to kill him he would have to do irreversible damage to his brain, anything else the doctors would be able to cure. And Akihito surely didn´t want Asami in the same hospital as Fei Long. When he tried to pull the trigger, his hand just wouldn´t move. It just kept on shaking.

Fei Long slowly started walking towards the young man and Akihito felt the beginning of an anxiety attack taking control over his body. Just as Fei Long touched his skin as he reached for his arm, a gunshot cut through the silent air of the hospital. Fei Long slumped onto the ground, instantly starting to leave a small puddle of blood. In heavy pants Akihito fell to his knees, staring at the small hole between Fei Long´s eyes. He wasn´t quite sure if he had done it or not, when he dropped the gun on the floor in panic. There it was, the attack had now really hit him. Akihito had always hated them, fortunately he had only ever had a couple of them every other month or so but it still froze his blood inside his body, as his heart started racing and his chest wouldn´t let him breath in anymore.

A set of strong arms pulled him up from the floor and he recognized Kirishima talking to him though he couldn´t make out anymore what was being said to him. Usually he had been clinging to Asami whenever he was around him when an attack hit, but now that Asami wasn´t back yet he panicked even more because he knew he would not have the option right now.

Kirishima shook the fragile body a few times back and forth to make Akihito´s eyes focus again and the rough treatment worked. He then pulled the boy over to the bed, sat his trembling body down on the seat next to it and made his thin hands grab his boss´ hand. Akihito stared at the hand, deeply panting. He felt Kirishima stroke over his back forcefully to take his concentration away from his chest and his breathing problems. „Breathe", he said. Then, he went a few steps back and collected the body from the ground. When Kirishima had left the room the doctor walked around the bed to Akihito´s side. He stood beside him for a few moments, waiting for his breathing to calm down a bit more, while laying a soft hand on the young man´s shoulder.

"You are not a killer, Takaba-san. The other man killed Liu-san", the doctor finally said.

Akihtio saw the scene in front of his eyes again, causing the tremor to come back to his bandaged hand. He really didn´t shoot. The noise came from behind him. So, it must have been Kirishima to kill Fei Long.

His voice choked a few times when he asked: "What did he want here? Did he tell you? Why were you in here with him?"

"He wanted to apologize to Asami-san. That is all that he told me. He asked me to wake Asami-san."

Akihito heard the words but he could not make sense out of them. Why would Fei Long apologize to Asami? Why would he personally come here? He must have known it would be dangerous for him to come to Japan, not to speak about meeting Asami.

Suddenly it hit him. His body started to tremble once more as thick tears dropped onto the floor beneath his grimaced face. Fei Long really didn´t order his guy to torture Asami. As to not start a war between them he came to apologize personally to Asami. Just as Akihito´s thoughts circled around Fei Long´s innocence on this matter, the big hand in his squeezed for a short moment.


	4. Chapter 4

He gazed up at his lover who finally gave him a life sign after three days of waiting. Asami´s breathing grew more and more unstable and he contorted his face with pain. The doctor rushed to the other side to press some buttons on the machines, supposedly increasing his dose of pain killers when Asami suddenly cried out as he opened his eyes. Clenching his hands into strong fists, he made Akihito whimper as he pressed his sprained wrist in one of them.

Completely disoriented he struggled against his own muscle weakness, almost punched the doctor, and Akihito reacted quick to cup his lover´s hot cheek and caressed him and started to speak in a very calm voice as he came close enough to Asami´s sweating face to almost kiss him. The anxiety had fully left his body now.

"Asami, it´s me. Calm down. You are safe. Asami, look at me."

"Akihito." The older man´s voice sounded soar and almost broke off within this one word. It instantly drained every bit of air from Akihito´s lungs. Asami relaxed his body in exhaustion. Panting he shook his head once or twice looking around him, finally realizing he was now out of danger.

"You are at Tokyo General Hospital, Sir", the doctor started to explain a number of things. He then asked Asami a number of questions to see if he was up to date on the events that had run down over the last days. Asami gave away just about enough to make sure he would rate him sane but little enough to not give any hint about his business or what was really going on.

Asami sounded as if he was doing great to the doctor but deep down Akihito knew how hard it was for him not to scream from the pain he must have been in. The doctor then left the two alone and Asami asked if he could have a glass of water and then brush his teeth. It sounded very strange to Akihito but he was out and about getting a toothbrush and toothpaste in his relief at once. It was only when he came back into the room, that he noticed tears on Asami´s cheeks. The young man wiped them away with a gently smile though under the surface his heart was screaming out in devastating ache. If he hadn´t avenged his lover´s pains brutally a few days ago, he surely would have now run out of the building chasing after that scum. As Asami couldn´t move a finger without painfully frowning, even though he would never have made a sound, Akihito persuaded him to have his teeth brushed by him.

"For the next few days, let me be your arms and legs", Akihito whispered into his lover´s ear.

He put away the toothbrush and sat down beside the Crime Lord. Asami panted in pain as he tried to move his body a bit away on the bed, and Akihito immediately jumped to help with whatever he was trying to do, but Asami simply rose a hand to stop him. His stupid pride, Akihito thought. The older man then padded the little, empty space he had created beside him and looked demanding at his boy. As if he could read his mind, Akihito knew instantly to take off his shirt because what Asami would now need most was skin contact and the warmth of his body. With his bare upper body he cautiously slipped into the hospital bed that was a lot too small for both of them.

It was the first time in his life that Akihito held Asami in his arms, reassuring and strong. Asami had now found out a bit about what hurt and which movements he could make. He turned his head to gaze into his boy´s eyes and took in a deep, passionate kiss. Both men knew that this kiss would be everything they would be able do for the next few days or even weeks but it was enough for them to finally be in each other´s arms again. Now Akihito got why Asami wanted his teeth brushed. He looked at his man and smiled gently. Asami buried his head into Akihitos hug, making the young man shiver when he kissed his chest and took a deep breath of Akihito´s scent.

"May I sleep like this?", he asked his kitten.

Akihito was struck silent by the gentleness in his lover´s voice. Never had Asami ever asked him for anything. Usually he would just take whatever he wanted, wether Akihito wanted to give it to him or not.

"Yes", the young man responded quickly, in order not to show how much the question had surprised him.

In a few seconds Asami drifted away in Akihito´s arms, giving Akihito the rewarding feeling of being useful for once in his life. Even if his only ever real purpose in life was to soothe Asami he knew he would be needed, he knew he could help only one single person to fall asleep, away from agony and pain, away from darkness, and this man really was the only person Akihito ever really cared about.

* * *

Every hour or so Asami would wake Akihito that night, struggling in his sleep, frowning and panting with the pain his still too many open wounds caused him. Akihito kissed his temple, caressed his hands and cheeks, pressed him closer into his scent, until the tall man started to breathe regularly again.

By the first light of the morning, Asami had gone into a high fever and the doctors increased his doses of pain killers and tranquilizers quite a bit to keep him from moving so much. During the night he had ripped open a number of wounds that had only just started to heal in. Akihito watched as the nurses changed bandages, pain and sorrow spearing into his heart like a twisting steel blade as he got to look at the all the different kinds of injuries on his Asami´s body.

Asami was conscious, but only barely, during the procedures. Whenever his eyes locked onto Akihito´s he would try to speak but his voice wouldn´t make any sound. His painful gasps and excruciating gazes burnt under Akihito´s skin.

Unable to move his arms, Asami reached only with his fingers for Akihito´s warmth as he shivered in feverish nightmares during the day. As soon as the doctors left them alone, Akihito slipped back into Asami´s bed and held the now fragile and comparatively skinny body of his. From time to time a tear would run down Asami´s cheekbones and he would mutter random words of passion and hatred, or at least Akihito thought that was all it was.

Suddenly Asami opened his eyes and searched for Akihito´s gaze. When he had finally managed to focus his eyes on the boy he said very calmly and very intensely:

"Akihito, whenever you look at me I can hardly manage to return your gaze. Your eyes can see right into the darkest corners of my soul and it makes me so afraid I can barely breathe. I was always so afraid to tell you, I have always needed to be the strong character in every aspect of life, that I have forgotten how to turn it off. I want to posses you. I want to be with you forever. I love you. Everything I am and everything I have belongs to you."

Then, the powerful man started to cry bitter tears, clenching onto Akihito´s body. He went back into his feverish state of mind only a few moments later.

Akihito couldn´t move. He just lay there, holding up his lover´s head, without the slightest idea of what had just happened. There had been more truth in Asami´s words than Akihito had ever experienced elsewhere, and deep down he started repeating them in his head as to never forget them, because he wished he could have filled the precious moment into a small glass bottle like a perfume.


	5. Chapter 5

It took a few days for Kirishima to show up at the hospital. Akihito went to get lunch outside with Suoh - as ordered by Asami. Usually, he would have protested but in this special case he knew by the tensity in the air that the two men needed to be left alone to speak.

"I am very sorry, Asami-sama", Kirishima stated nervously when the boy and his bodyguard had left the room.

Asami was still not able to focus perfectly, still he knew what he wanted to say and he thought. He glanced at his right hand man in both gratefulness and fury and hoped that he still had the ability in his face to show only the latter.

"You failed me", he said calmly.

"We have always spoken openly with each other, Sir, and for that I am very grateful."

"So, what are you expecting me to answer to that?"

"What are you going to do to me, Sir? Am I to die for my mistake?"

Asami laughed in his heart. Nothing of that showed on his expression of course but he was still very amused by how long Kirishima had worked for him and could still sincerely believe Asami would kill him for saving his ass. It was just ridiculous. Kirishima was right, they had always had an open way with each other, so Asami decided he would no longer play with the poor man and for once just be bluntly honest with him.

"Kirishima-san, you saved my life. Why would I kill you for rescuing me? I am grateful to you. Yes, you failed me but who knows if anyone else could have done better. And now go, look for Takaba, I want them back in the next ten minutes."

Just as Kirishima was about to leave with an almost inaudible sigh of relief, Asami asked: "How are you doing? Are you alright?"

"I am fine now, Sir, thank you."

"I want a full written report about the Chinese in my hands by tomorrow morning."

"Yes, Sir. And Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

With that he slipped through the door.

Asami frowned in pain. He would only have a few minutes to himself to relieve his suffering. Had he really heard Akihito say "I love you" while he was gone? Was his mind still tricking him into hearing funny things? Did he really confess to the boy and what exactly did he say? How embarrassing. But even if he said it, what bad could possibly evolve from it? The boy would never run away from him. He had seen the look on his face all this time, the dark shadows beneath the beautiful eyes, the dark corners around the sprained wrist.

This wonderful boy had been put through so much over the last days that Asami wasn´t sure if he would ever fully recover from it. He remembered how he had experienced the boy shouting in his sleep for him after Hong Kong. Whenever the word came up in his mind, Asami would clench his fists over the hatred he felt for Fei. What he did to his boy crossed the line. Before, Asami would tolerate the guy, maybe because, deep down he had felt sorry for how their first encounter had ended. But now, after how he had acted out of pure jealousy, Asami wanted to get rid of him as soon as possible. It would create a vacuum in China but he didn´t care anymore. Akihito was more important than that. Whoever would take Fei´s place was just fine if only Akihito would be safe.

But Akihito would never be safe. Asami would never be safe. As long Akihito stayed with him the boy would never be safe. He would have to protect him. He was unable to let him go so he had to protect him. He was unable to let him go, Asami thought, and it made his heart ache. This pain was far away from the pain he felt when moving these days, it was different. He knew the physical pain would leave his body sooner or later, but this heartache would never go away. He had pulled this wonderful creature, this angel of light into his darkness and his heart would never forgive him for that.

The powerful man lay there, in his hospital bed, feeling nothing but pain, inside and out, and he struggled to swallow his tears back down. It must have been something about the medication, otherwise he would never even have felt the tears creeping up his throat.

The door clicked and Akihito entered, smiling brightly across his face. With every fibre of his body, Asami longed to be near this boy. The scent of him drove him crazy, his eyes paralyzed him and having the boy´s heat close could make him forget every dark bit of his memories.

* * *

"So, Fei Long is dead?", Asami asked after reading the piece of paper to the end.

"Yes", Akihito responded in a low voice. He was sure Asami had seen the flinch when he said his name. He wanted to be strong for his lover but when it was about Fei Long, he would still be unable to hide his feelings.

Asami reached for his head and pressed him down to his shoulder. Akihito noticed how strong he had already become again. Still, Asami wanted him to stay in his bed next to him for hours and hours, but actually Akihito didn´t mind at all. After what Asami had said to him, he wanted to look into his eyes every moment he could get the chance to.

In the corner of his eye the young man could read a few lines of the paper himself. After the first few lines his chest tightened within seconds. 'Takaba cut off Chiao´s penis and gave order to kill them slowly. I did.' it said. A shiver ran down his spine. Asami knew. Why did he not say anything? Akihito was afraid of how his lover might react when he found out Akihito knew about the rape. It was as sensitive as nothing ever before. He knew his lover had felt how he had tensed up all of a sudden even though Akihito had so hard tried to not show. But he had never been good at hiding things from his lover. The golden eyes would see anything. Both men knew. None of them could speak it out.

Deep down in his heart, Asami felt guilty. His darkness had enveloped the boy so much he had tortured another person. The Crime Lord had bloodied his angel´s hands.


	6. Chapter 6

After two weeks in the hospital Asami had finally convinced the doctors to let him go home. He was still walking with a cane but he had successfully refused to be taken home in a wheelchair. In the car Akihito tried to caress the big hand but Asami drew away in shame over his weakness. Nothing showed but Akihito knew. Damn pride, he thought to himself.

Akihito secretly looked forward to the time with his lover now. He was out of pain but still needed to stay at home, in bed for most of the time, and Akihito would have him around day and night. He would never have admitted it but he hated the times when he had to be away from Asami. He had always felt somewhat afraid while away from his lover.

Breathing unevenly Asami sat down on the bed. He took off the jacket he had worn to get there and slowly laid back on the bed to face Akihito. The pain Asami must have felt during the transport lay heavy on Akihito´s chest as he leaned in to kiss his lover. He was unexpectedly pulled towards the big body and jerked away as to not hurt his lover.

"What do you think you are doing?", he asked the older man, sounding almost angry with him.

"Trying to have you ride on top of me", Asami smirked.

"You can´t fuck me, you are five minutes away from a fever."

"Are you worried, Kitten?"

"Don´t you kitten me!" Akihito pulled away sharply.

Asami pulled his arm towards him again.

"Asami, stop! As much as I´d love to, you need to rest", Akihito yelled.

"You´d love to?"

Akihito blushed. He had rarely ever been so honest about wanting Asami. He looked at his lover in agony, pining after his hot tall body and struggled against his grip in his arm in fear it might hurt Asami if they did it now.

"Then do it yourself", Asami said in a demanding tone.

The young man looked at him, highly red across his face, with an expression of insecurity and rage at the same time. He felt hot goosebumps run down his body as he thought about what Asami had just commanded him to do. Asami pulled the boy into a passionate kiss, moving his hand under Akihito´s shirt and towards his nipples. Akihito couldn´t fight the pleasure anymore, moaning into the kiss. The hot hand beneath the fabric sent shivers down to his groin.

"Undress and place yourself on the chair", Asami ordered.

Akihito wasn´t thinking anymore. He would just do as he was told now, falling into the warm feeling of security as Asami made the decisions. He stripped his pants and shirt and walked over to the chair, exhaling hot breaths and feeling his wobbly knees almost giving up the support of his body. Just as he was about to sit down and face his lover again, his lover expressed his discontent.

"Akihito, I said strip. Underwear counts too."

Embarrassed, Akihito dropped onto the chair and glared at the older man. He just smirked, as always. Deep down in his heart, Akihito knew, Asami would be alright eventually.

"Close your eyes and lean back into the chair", his voice commanded.

Akihito pressed his knees together as he did not want Asami to see his beginning erection. As told, he leaned back and closed his eyes, listening only to his lover´s deep voice.

"Caress your upper body for me, Akihito. Make yourself feel as it were my hands touching your skin."

Akihito felt his body heat up with just the words received by his ears. He started to trace his collarbone lightly with his right hand. It was just the movement he had caught himself doing to himself in lonely nights when thinking of his strong lover´s touch. Now repeating it in front of his watcher felt very awkward and very hot at the same moment.

"Now, keep your eyes closed and put your legs over the armrests."

Why would he do that, Akihito thought.

"Let me see your full beauty, my kitten", Asami answered his the question in his head.

Akihito hesitated for a moment.

"Remember my breath on your skin, recall the feeling of my fingers in your ass."

The young man felt his groin twitch in lust. He raised his knees slowly, then pulled them apart to place them onto the soft, wide armrests, sliding down into the chair a bit more. Suddenly feeling his most sensitive areas exposed to air and to his lover´s eyes, he felt a warm drop run down his cock.

"Now reach under your thigh and feel your fingers on your entrance."

Akihito felt the next twitch, this time more intense and spreading farther over his whole body.

"God", he exhaled in ecstasy. He heard Asami chuckle lowly.

He bit onto his lower lip, craving for more, but somehow he knew Asami wouldn´t let him release his urge right away.

"Feel the touch of a hand around your hole for a bit."

Akihito did. It felt incredible.

"Now put one finger in."

Akihito groaned in sweet passion.

"Slowly add another and push in and out."

Only now, Akihito recognized how deeply and ecstatically he was breathing already. Asami remained silent for a few moments, only watching, as the young man rubbed his bottom and nipple in a sweet rhythm of just about a heart rate. As Akihito moved his hand to his standing cock, Asami licked his lips. How much would he enjoy thrusting into this tight ass right now. But the boy was right. His body would never have been able to take it. He let his gaze wander about the beautiful body of his boy, as he relished in the fact that he had just successfully gotten the boy into masturbating his heart out in front of his eyes. What an exquisite scene.

Akihito tried to reach deeper into his body, deep down pining for the big cock of his lover, as his rhythm slowly took up speed. Asami had gone silent a few minutes ago and Akihito craved for their connection. Only his own panting was now audible in the spacious bedroom.

"Asami?", he asked, somewhere between whispering and screaming.

"Yes, Kitten?", the deep voice responded.

"I´m not your kitten!"

"You are mine."

Akihito opened his eyes, just as the strong orgasm started to shake his body. He screamed out as the feeling pulled his upper body forward and his sight towards the ceiling. Just as if he had actually done it with Asami, and for the first time during jerking off, Akihito´s sight went blank for a moment as he suffered through the sweet pain of the ending climax.

Covered in sweat and sperm his body dropped back into the chair as Akihito searched for his partner´s gaze. Asami locked onto his eyes, staring deep into his soul with his golden eyes. The young man pulled his fingers out and left his entrance twitching in delight, and to Asami´s surprise he did not get up right away to clean himself up. The boy only watched him watch him, with his ass exposed for him and moaning with every twitch that ran from his entrance up into the delicate body. There they were, these lustful eyes, staring right into the deep darkness behind Asami´s retinas. What a show he had just been given, what a joy to watch the boy from the outside for once. The boy still hadn´t been able to fully catch his breath again.

After recovering for what felt like half an hour, Akihito slowly pulled his weak legs back down from the arm rests. He could hardly move, so good had coming felt this time. If he would ever be able to go back to coming through normal masturbation, he wondered, and the unsettling feeling that the answer might be no slowly clambered up his spine into his head like a spider.

With wobbly steps and nothing on his body but cold sweat, Akihito slipped into the big bed next to Asami. After being cramped up in the one person hospital bed with his lover over the last two weeks, this bed now felt a lot larger than the last time they had laid in it together. Asami spread out his left arm and took the young man into his hug. After a deep kiss Akihito carefully moved away only a few inches as to not hurt his lover´s broken ribs if he fell asleep on them. Almost sad, he watched the big body next to him breathe under the familiar white cover.

* * *

It had only been a few days later that Asami finally could get rid of all remaining bandages. He soon started working again, there were developments in China to attend to. Asami seemed just fine, back in his old routine, only with a few more scars.

But Akihito knew what was really going on. He had heard Asami pant and vomit through the bathroom door. He had felt him clench his muscles in his nightmares. He had seen him light cigaret after cigaret in front of the TV.

Nothing was fine about Asami. He wouldn´t talk. Never. When Akihito had tried to ask him to tell him what they had done to him, Asami had answered: "Oh my kitten, I have drawn you into my darkness far enough." But Akihito didn´t need protecting. He needed Asami to be okay.


	7. Chapter 7

Akihito quickly lid the bedside light. He put his hand onto Asami´s drenched forehead and pressed his hand. The tall man screamed in his sleep, jerking with every muscle he had. The night before, Akihito had tried to wake him only resulting in Asami throwing the young man forcefully out of the bed and onto the floor where he had hit his knee painfully, leaving a dark spot. This time Akihito would try something else. Anything else. He was anxious to free Asami from the terror he was going through.

He came closer to the struggling man and whispered into his ear: "Ryuuichi."

His body reacted visibly to the words, Asami´s head tilted towards the voice of his young lover.

"You are safe, Ryuuichi. Calm down, you are safe", Akihito whispered on.

All of a sudden Asami opened his eyes, peering around the room confusedly until his eyes met Akihito´s.

"Akihito", he stumbled.

"Yes."

"What did I do? Did I hurt you again?"

"No. Are you okay?"

"Yes." Then Asami paused for a moment. "Let´s go back to sleep."

He caught Akihito in his arms and pulled him close to his tensed body. Taking in each other´s scent the two men exhaustedly went back into the sweet embrace if the night.

* * *

Akihito was cooking dinner when Asami entered the kitchen. He hugged the young man from behind, nibbling at his nape.

"Nice to see you, too", Akihito said, welcoming his lover home.

Asami just smirked and exhaled onto Akihito´s collarbone. He licked his earlope and caressed his upper body tightly.

"You do realize I am trying to make dinner, right? How are feeling today? Have you taken your medication?"

"You are my medication", the Crime Lord breathed into his lover´s neckline.

Akihito had seldom experienced Asami so deductive. The next kiss on his shoulder aroused him so much he dropped the wooden spoon into the pot.

"You are still hurt, Asami, you can´t fuck me."

"Watch me", Asami responded and twisted Akihito´s hips in his hands to turn him around, now facing his lover.

"And what about dinner?", Akihito still tried, feeling his knees slowly giving in to the pleasure of only the kisses. He had missed Asami. He had missed having him inside him.

"I´ll have you."

"Take me to the bed", the young man whispered into Asami´s ear.

"I´ll have you on the dining table", he responded, not giving his lover the chance to talk back by his tongue between his teeth.

Akihito had gotten so used to fighting back that he had forgotten how to just go with it. He had trouble relaxing when Asami set down his body on the table and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. As the big warm hands started to caress his upper body gently, the feeling of insecurity finally started fading away, repainted by the all too familiar lust he had felt when Asami and he had been together this very long time ago.

Akihito laid his hands on the big frame before him and pulled Asami by his collar into a passionate kiss. As if he had committed a crime, Asami pulled his hand behind down and pinned them into one if his behind Akihito´s back so he couldn´t move anymore. Akihito wouldn´t fight against it. Deep down in his heart he loved being dominated by his strong lover.

Asami loosened his tie and unbuttoned his own shirt, then tied his boy´s hands together over his head. Akihito craved for his lover´s heat. In anticipation he bit down on his lip and stared into the golden eyes fearlessly. None of the two lovers would loose the other´s gaze while Asami got rid of both their pants and underwear.

With a lustful cry Akihito felt Asami slowly take in his cock, massaging it skillfully with his hot tongue. The tall man pulled Akihito´s legs up to rest them onto his shoulders and gently pushed his torso to lie down on the cold table top.

Akihito groaned in pleasure as the playful tongue enveloped him again, pulling and sucking on his erection. He arched his back in tension when he felt one of Asami´s fingers entering him slowly. Almost tardily the soft finger entered as far as possible and then pulled out again, joined by a not moan from the young man in heavenly pleasure. Only feeling Asami´s breath on his skin again after so long could have driven him crazy already. The sentiments he now felt went far deeper into absolute madness.

But Asami´s fingers had only just begun to tease the boy. He let go of the beautiful cock in front of him and drew a fine line of wetness, only with the tip of his tongue centrally upwards his angel´s body, while gently sliding in and out of his tight ass. As he watched the photographer pant with lust beneath him he had to restrain his own body from hurting the boy. Adding a third finger cautiously he entwined their tongues in a long deep kiss.

Akihito muffled his moans into the kiss. As they parted again he put his tied arms around his lover´s neck and drowned his gaze in Asami´s eyes. The fingers pulled out. Akihito exhaled a burning breath in flaring anticipation when he felt his lover´s firm erection nudge at his entrance. As he felt the steamy width slowly spread his bottom apart he screamed, more in readiness than in pain. Still fixed onto his lover´s gaze he realized he had dug his fingernails into the scarred shoulders of the Crime Lord.

As Asami thrusted deep into the small body he felt his angel´s eyes penetrate his dark soul. For the fraction of a second he felt the fear kindle in his heart. He had realized how much he had opened up to the boy over the last weeks. Within a moment the feeling was washed away as he stared back into Akihito´s eyes. This gaze would never harm him. He would eventually know every bit of Asami but he would never shy away from it. This boy would follow him anywhere and Asami wanted him to. He wanted every string of this fragile body and all the corners of this still so innocent soul to belong to him, to crave for him.

Akihito felt smashed by the intensity of the orgasm washing through his body. Heavily panting into his lover´s shoulder he felt him come inside his shivering torso. As his muscles slowly started relaxing again, he drew a hot kiss from his lover. Now or never, Akihito thought. Asami relaxed onto his body, engulfing him into his scents and heartbeat.

"What did they do to you?", he whispered into Asami´s ear.

Right after coming his lover had always been most honest and open. Akihito hoped, his chest aching with the broken heart the thoughts gave him.

Asami looked at him as if he hadn´t heard it but Akihito knew he had and was just to perplex to answer.

"Did they punch you?", he tried again, still with hopes in his bones.

"Yes", the tall man answered silently.

Akihito caressed his lover´s head in relief. He would finally talk.

"Did they burn you?"

"Yes."

"What else?"

"Cut my skin, broke my bones."

The two men only looked at each other. There were no emotions in their faces.

"They chained you, right?"

"Yes."

"They raped you."

Silence.

"Ryuuichi, you are safe. They are dead."

"I know."

Asami came back to his right senses. He pulled out and turned away, heading to leave the boy on the table. He had managed to crack him even though Asami had sworn to no more burden the boy. He felt the shaky hand on his scars and turned around to grab the hand. Holding the boy´s tied arms in his tight grip, he felt the fragile body slump onto the ground.

Akihito cursed at his weak legs, hanging in Asami´s clenched fist. He looked up at his lover who stared back as emotionless as ever.

"I´m sorry, Asami", he said.

Asami picked him up and carried him into bed, wordlessly. None of them spoke a single word anymore. Akihito felt Asami had crossed the limit of words spoken for one night with 'I know'.

Though Asami would not let Akihito fall asleep in his arms for the first time in weeks, Akihito felt his securing hug when waking up in the middle of the night. Not because Asami was caught in a nightmare again but because Akihito felt cold.


	8. Chapter 8

Akihito flinched when he heard the glass break. He hurried back into the living room where he found Asami kneeling behind the sofa, picking up the scattered shards from the wooden floor. The only person in the world who would actually be able to notice Asami´s uneven breathing was Akihito and he approached fast, causing the proud man to hold his breath just for a moment. Akihito pulled Asami up on his feet and sat him down on the sofa, staring into his eyes.

He hated the smell of alcohol on his lover´s breath. This time he would finally speak it out.

"For heaven´s sake, Asami, it´s only noon. You shouldn´t drink that much. It doesn´t mix well with the medication, it slows down your full recovery and I hate the smell on your breath when you kiss me."

In the blink of an eye, Asami slapped the boy in his face. He might have felt regret in the next moment, had the boy not spoken so disrespectful to him.

Akihito collected his body from the floor, shaking off the dizziness the slap had given him instantly. He looked at his lover. The glare he got back was just as furious as his own.

Without paying another thought to the brat, Asami got up and poured himself another drink, then sat down in his reading chair, looking over some reports. How he hated working during the weekend.

Akihito was not done yet. He walked over, took the glass from Asami´s hands and started to walk away, taking the bottle from the tray with him. He was almost at the door when he felt Asami rip the bottle from his hand. When Akihito turned around to protest Asami´s fist hit him right on his nose. Loosing his sense of balance his body dropped onto his knees, the glass slipping from his hand, leaving the pieces on the floor with a clank. He reached for his nose which he felt slowly fill with blood, only to be gripped forcefully by Asami´s hands. He started strangling the young man, pressing his body against the wall.

As Akihito felt his vision go blank he reached for Asami´s cheek. Within seconds the tall man let go and he fell to the floor, panting, coughing and trying to catch the blood drops from his nose. He hadn´t had an attack in weeks, not since the time that Fei Long had touched him for the last time, but there it was and it was much stronger than his lovers hands, making his body go cold instantly and draining every bit of air out of his lungs.

A hand reached for him, and in panic he pushed it away, only to see Asami stare at him in agony. He must have been too drunk to hide the feelings anymore.

Akihito´s body shook in fear and stress, not letting him breathe in. He tried to scream but nothing would come out of his mouth. The taste of the blood in his mouth made him feel sick within moments as he gasped for air desperately.

If only he hadn´t been so afraid of Asami this time. Usually he would flee into his arms away from the pain but he shivered in fear that Asami would kill him now. He felt a towel being shoved under his nose with force now and since he couldn´t move away with the wall behind him, he kicked the tall man with the little strength he had left in his muscles.

Asami stared at him in distress, reaching out for the boy.

"Akihito, I´m sorry. Please forgive me. I am so sorry."

His voice sounded gentle and broken. Never had Asami ever apologized to him. Akihito clenched his shirt in his hand, trying to stop his immense heart rate, with the other hand pressing the towel to his bleeding nose. His body would now finally allow Asami to touch him without fighting back.

Akihito felt his warm hand caress his arched back, instantly relieving the tremor in his hands and the shaking of his body a bit. With his hair clinging to his forehead in sweat he looked into Asami´s eyes that were filled with pain. He knew he needed his soothing touch to calm down, to get out of this nightmare of clenched muscles and cold skin. Hesitantly he reached for his lover who opened his arms for him but didn´t make a single move towards the scared boy as to not threaten him in any way.

The young man touched Asami´s arm with his fingers as if his body tried to test if he would burn him like a hotplate. He slowly and still shakingly lay his full palm onto the arm and moved the rest of his body away from the wall to get closer to Asami´s warmth.

Step by step he convinced his body, pumping with adrenaline, to ease itself into his lover´s embrace.

"Come here. Relax", Asami said soothingly.

Akihito felt his lungs fill with air again and his heart rate decreasing slowly. He had Asami´s shirt in his tight fists and looked at the floor, tracing the blood and shards with his eyes. Asami´s heartbeat calmed him down. He would never have admitted it. The bastard had caused the attack. His breath still smelled disgustingly like alcohol.

Shakily, Akihito pushed the tall frame away, glaring at his golden eyes in agony.

"Better?", Asami asked gently.

Akihito only shook his head. Nothing was better. They couldn´t go on like this. He couldn´t go on like this. Still shaking, he climbed to his feet and left the room, cautious not to step into any glass. Asami was silent. He got up and took a few big slugs from the bottle. He wouldn´t have been surprised if the boy would now move out. He shook his head to forget the petrified face of his young lover. How could he hurt him so deeply? Even with a wall between them, from the next room he could still hear Akihito´s muffled sobs.

* * *

Akihito slept alone that night and Asami let him. Deep down, Asami felt relieved the boy hadn´t left after he had done the same horrible thing to him as the Russians, back on that ship. He hated how soft the boy had let him become, for no one else in the world had he ever felt so sympathetic. This boy really possessed a unique power over him, not as much as Asami had over him, but still. He needed the boy to be alright. He couldn´t risk him being hurt again. He needed Akihito to be safe, and that was all that mattered. He had to protect the one thing he couldn´t live without. Even from himself.

His chest tightened as he lay in bed alone, secretly craving for the warmth of that skinny body. He would send Akihito away. Only to make sure, the boy would be alright. But would he ever be alright without the the boy? It didn´t matter. As long as he was in this pitiful state, Akihito wouldn´t be safe with him. He needed Akihito to be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

It had only been four hours since he had gone but when Akihito returned home, he found a new lock on the apartment door and a note saying:

`Akihito - I have rented you an apartment in Ota-ku. I don´t wish for you to stay here any longer. Your belongings have already been transported there. Suoh will take you to the address. Asami´

The first minute or two, Akihito just stared at the note. His mind didn´t seem capable of processing the words.

Then it hit him like a lightning running down a tree.

"Asami", he yelled, slamming on the door with the keys in his clenched fist. "Asami, stop the bullshit, I am not angry with you for hurting me! Let me in, please! Let´s talk!"

Nothing. Akihito waited. At least three minutes.

On the other side of the door, Asami watched the feed from the surveillance camera on the small screen next to the door. He dialed Suoh to come upstairs and take Akihito away. His heart ached. But he needed to protect the boy.

As he watched as Suoh closed in on the yelling boy. Asami´s chest hurt. He hated it so much, this godforsaken sickness for this boy. All he was was a good fuck, he tried to persuade himself. It wouldn´t work.

With one hand on the door that gave a slight jolt every time Akihito slammed the key against it, Asami held his breath as the crying boy struggled with the bodyguard. Suddenly Asami heard a gunshot ring through the door.

Suoh held his bleeding leg, confusedly looking at Akihito. "Fuck! Takaba! Fuck!"

But Akihito didn´t care anymore. If Asami would just kick him out for doing nothing wrong, he needed to take action.

"Asami, open the door! I know you are there! Open up", he screamed in tears against the locked door.

On the other side, Asami called his medics on short dial.

"I can take on anything you do to me, I am not afraid anymore! Please! Asami! Please, let me stay with you! I can´t live without you! Asami, please!"

Desperately he raised the gun to his temple. In the corner of his eye, he saw Suoh crawl towards him, so he turned to him and shouted: "Don´t you dare! This is something between me and him, and if you try to touch me, I will kill you!" Madness in his red eyes glared at Suoh.

"Asami! Open up! Please! Asami! I can take it! Asami! Don´t kick me out! Asami! Please!"

Akihito had shouted himself into a chant of agony and desperation. He sank to his knees sobbing and crying bitterly.

"Asami! Open, please! Asami! Please! Asami! Asami! I love you! I can´t live without you! If I can´t be with you, I swear, I will kill myself! Please, Asami! I love you!"

Asami watched as Akihito became more silent every moment. He now only talked manically to himself, still Asami could hear him through the door.

"I am not afraid anymore", Asami heard his boy chant. "I love you. I am not afraid. Forgive me."

This time he meant it, Asami thought alarmed. He quickly unlocked the door to pull the gun from Akihito´s hands when a shot glazed his collar bone.

Akihito looked into his eyes, sobbing loudly and clenching his fists against his upper body.

"You asshole! You fucking asshole!"

The elevator doors opened and the medical rushed into the scenery. Taking the chance as it came, Akihito quickly ran inside as far as he could get, and into his room, where nothing but a blank mattress and bare furniture froze his body at once. He fell down in bitter tears holding on to the mattress.

It took Asami a few minutes to get rid of the doctor who cleaned and patched the wound. He then followed the sobbing into Akihito´s room to find the boy crouched on the floor. As soon as Akihito noticed the steps, he turned and yelled at his lover.

"Now listen up, Asshole, I am only going to say this once! You are never getting me out of here! If you try again, I promise you, I will kill myself!"

What an idiot Asami had been. Had he really thought, Akihito wouldn´t fight back?

"You are a jerk and a bastard and an asshole and to top it all, you just made me say I love you, which is probably the worst thing you have ever done to me, you coward!"


	10. Chapter 10

"Okay, this is it", Akihito yelled at his lover. "I am not going to watch you drink yourself to death! You need to gain back control over yourself! Look at yourself! If I had talked to you like this two months ago, you would have punished me for hours and hours!"

Asami put down the glass and slowly approached Akihito. Fear sneaked into his bones when Akihito felt the mad glare of his lover burn into his skin. Maybe that was a bit too much. He had only wanted to provoke the Crime Lord to exercising power over him, making his lover feel the rush of force was the only chance, he thought, to get the real Asami back. Well, even if the idea was right, he now realized painfully he would have to suffer the consequences of his harsh appeal.

"Kneel", Asami said, standing inches away from his lover´s body, almost shaking in rage.

"No", Akihito responded cockily. He couldn´t even breath in, so fast and forceful came the slap to his cheek, throwing his off his balance and taking him to the ground. Yes, he thought, his plan had worked out.

As he struggled to get back to his feet, he felt Asami take a tiny step back, probably in reaction to hurting his lover again, but Akihito wanted it. He reached for his foot and looked up into his golden eyes.

"Don´t draw back, punish me", he said.

Finally Asami understood. He grabbed the boy´s shoulder and pull him to his knees. Pressing into the soft spot over his collar bone, he commanded: "Suck me."

In pain, Akihito lifted his hands to unzip his lover´s pants. He wanted him so badly he could already feel his starting erection under the tight jeans. It had been a week since their last time together, since before Asami had tried to throw him out. Now every cell of his body was craving for the hot cock in front of him.

Asami gruffly took his lover´s head into his hand and fixed his grip in his hair. Akihito was fast enough to inhale before Asami slammed deep into his throat, causing a strong feeling of nausea in Akihito´s shaking body.

It went on for minutes. Akihito´s inner voice screamed in pain but he wouldn´t let Asami hear a sound of it. He had to endure this. He had to heal this proud man of his insecurity.

When Asami filled his mouth with semen, Akihito abruptly felt the nausea explode upwards. In reflex he pushed Asami away and started running for the bathroom. He emptied his complete breakfast into the toilet within seconds. With a cold shiver clinging to his skin, Akihito cowered down onto the cool tile floor when he heard Asami come into the bathroom.

"Akihito-"

"Don´t! Don´t apologize."

How could this boy read him like that, Asami thought to himself. He approached his lover cautiously and placed a hand onto the shivering back. He knew exactly what the boy did there and for some reason he felt he would go along with it, even if he would hurt his lover physically. As he caressed his lover´s shoulder he felt the urge to push him down heat up his body. For a moment he hesitated but then realized it would be just what Akihito wanted him to do.

"I´m not done with you yet", he said unapologetically.

He pulled the boy up by his arm and placed him in front of the sink.

"Clean yourself and get your ass back into the living room. Naked."

Then he left. Still a bit dizzy and nauseous Akihito took a sip of water to flush down the bitter taste in his mouth. He looked at himself and felt poorly, with Asami´s cum still trickling from his cheek. In this particular moment Akihito hated himself for letting Asami do this to him. It wouldn´t change anything though if he drew back now.

Akihito took a handful of water and splashed it into his face to clean himself up. Without wasting any more thoughts about it he dropped his clothes on the floor and slowly made his way back to the living room.

Asami stood there, naked, with his cock stiffened again and commanded Akihito to come closer. He pulled his lover to the back of the sofa, pushed him down brutally to bend over and without further warning slammed into him deeply and cruelly.

Akihito screamed in excruciating pain, he knew instantly that there would be blood sooner or later and the feeling of being ripped apart by Asami´s power sucked every bit of air out of his body momentarily. His chest wouldn´t let him breathe anymore, it hurt so much. In his almost paralyzed state he tried to struggle against it but Asami simply caught his hands on his back and pinned him down.

Akihito muffled his screams facing downwards into the sofa for a few more minutes until it wouldn´t hurt so much anymore. He knew he wouldn´t be able to walk for the next twenty-four hours.

Slowly, he felt the pain grow sweeter, gradually morphing into aching pleasure. Against the fabric of the sofa he could sense his dick swell in delight.

Suddenly, Akihito felt Asami firmly grab his erection and a string tying down on his shaft. When he tried to reach for Asami´s hand to prevent it he felt his arms slip away in weakness.

"Oh yes, my love, I am going to torture you all afternoon", Asami smirked.

Akihito felt beat already. Still, he couldn´t help smiling. Asami was back. He rammed into him forcefully, sending waves of lust through the fragile body. Akihito turned his head slightly so he could breathe, he no longer needed to muffle the pain-driven cries. He wanted Asami to hear him. He wanted him to feel his approval. Asami could go as hard on him as he wanted because he was his.

Hours later, Akihito still had a painful erection, begging Asami to release him in tears. He had made a terrible mistake in provoking his lover. He felt as he was again pushed to the edge by Asami´s tongue and when his body was ready to come the string around his penis wouldn´t let the pressure out.

Asami stopped. He walked away from the shivering boy on the wooden floor to light a cigaret at the window. As he listened to Akihito´s whimpers from the floor the hot feeling of power strived through his veins. This beauty was all his and he could do with it whatever he wanted and for now he wanted to have Akihito ready for the sunset. He would have about twenty more minutes before they would need to go outside to watch it so he turned to take another, one last round on his boy.

Akihito felt Asami fill him when the string was finally taken away, setting a powerful ejaculation free that went up to Akihito´s chin. Every single muscle in his body was clenched in tension causing his limbs to jolt with every twitch of agonizing pleasure in his ass. With every breath, Akihito now felt the hot air rush past his sore voice. He couldn´t move. His body was so exhausted it wouldn´t allow him to stretch a single muscle. Before he knew it, Asami had pulled out and cleaned Akihito top to bottom with a wet towel.

Akihito took in Asami´s scent with joy. The tall man smelled from the lovemaking, combined with the odor of the cologne on his bathrobe. Lovingly he pulled the lifeless body into his arms and wrapped it into a fresh bed sheet. Akihito felt so hot and sweaty he wanted to lay in a cold tub.

"I´m so hot, Asami", he tried. His voice almost broke off in the middle of only these few words.

"Not for long", Asami said as he carried his lover out onto the balcony. He sat down on the canopy swing, keeping Akihito close and safe. The young man stretched his legs, frowning from only this slight move. He had overdone it a bit this time, Asami thought as he watched the exhausted boy lay on his arm.

Akihito reached for Asami´s hand, holding on to it as tight as he could - which wasn´t much. He felt the exhaustion crawl up his legs, staring into the beautiful sunset. How he would love to take a photo of it, even though it was so corny.

"Kiss me", he whispered and was generously granted his wish.

As he looked into the glistening golden eyes, he slipped away into the darkness.

Asami sat and watched the sunset, feeling his young lover´s breath on his chest. The boy had cold sweat on his forehead and starting to feel quite hot.

Just after sunset Asami headed back in to bring the boy to bed. He now really had a fever. After placing a cold wet towel on his forehead Asami lay down next to his lover. He wrapped his arms around the tiny frame and kissed his palm.

 _I am sorry, Akihito_ , he thought. _I shouldn´t have done this to you. Why do you always prove right? Why am I suddenly okay with everything?_


	11. I am yours

Upon request.

Dedicated to Ruevedette.

* * *

I AM YOURS

* * *

Akihito woke up in cold sweat. His eyes searched for the clock on the bedside table. 4:30. It was Sunday morning. He felt his heavy arms and legs cling to the bed sheets. He remembered. How amazing it had felt. And how awful. He felt Asami move beside his right arm. The tall man looked at him with expressionless eyes. As always, Akihito thought to himself. He sighed in relief, shaking away the weird dreams he could not remember. His body felt heavy. It took much more strength than usual to move his muscles.

Slowly, he crawled closer to the warm body of his lover. Asami pressed a tender kiss onto the sweaty forehead and closed his arms around his lover.

Akihito could feel his skin shiver with goosebumps. As he turned his body to the side he flinched in pain from his hips. He wasn´t surprised. He had known it would be painful all along.

The young man stared back into the golden eyes of his lover.

"How are you feeling?", he asked.

"Miserable, what did you think?", Akihito groused.

"You have a light fever. It was worse a few hours ago, so I guess it will be gone by the morning."

"Oh man, you fucked me unconscious _and_ into a fever?"

Asami chuckled silently. Had Akihito had the strength to punch his lover, he would have. His arm wouldn´t let him do more than a grumpy bump on the man´s chest. Still, it stopped the smile on his face.

"I know what you did, Akihito."

"Do you? And did it work?"

"Yes. And it scares me that you know me that well. Better than I do."

"It scares you? You are scared? I thought the great Asami Ryuuichi didn´t know fear."

"You taught me."

"What?"

Akihito held his breath for a moment. This conversation was headed in a very strange direction.

"I´ve seen you hurt so many times. And you prove, on a regular basis, how well you know me. These are the two only things that scare the hell out of me."

If Akihito hadn´t been so sick and hurt he would probably have started crying. But his body wouldn´t be able to take that anymore.

"Asami, you never say things like that. You can never talk about your feelings openly. Why now?"

"You have been so honest and open yesterday, I feel in your dept. I don´t like owing people, and I despise owing you."

"Well, you owe me now, big time, for what you did to me yesterday. And last week. And the day before that."

"And I will make that all up to you as soon as your body can take it again. I promise."

With a kiss on Asami´s cheek that cost Akihito so much energy his body started to tremble slightly, the exhausted young man placed his head on Asami´s chest to hear that soothing heartbeat. In his head Akihito repeated again what Asami had said to him in his delirium at the hospital. He listened to the heart, knowing that it belonged to him, that he belonged to him. This heart was his greatest treasure and he would endure anything that might still come if only he could keep it forever.


End file.
